Wifey Wednesday - Appreciation

How do you feel when someone appreciates you?  How do you feel when someone does not appreciate you?  Think about these two questions for a moment.  

Today on Wifey Wednesday we are talking appreciation in marriage.  One of the memory verses my 7yr old has memorized this week while doing his ACE pace schoolwork is Matthew 7:12 which says:

Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ... to them.

The New King James Version puts it this way:

Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them...

 From the Living Bible:

Do for others what you want them to do for you...

Going back to our earlier questions - remember how you felt when you thought of each of them.  We feel good, on top of the world, we can conquer anything when we are appreciated and we feel bad, low, down when we're not.  Now think of your husband.  Despite his irritating, annoying, disgusting, totally bad habits - do you think he has feelings also?  Don't you think that he would feel just as you do - good when appreciated and bad when not appreciated?

Using the verse above as our guideline (as the Bible should be in all we do), we should basically show appreciation to our husbands because that's what we would like for ourselves.  It did not clarify and say that we should do to them only when they do to us.  It may not be easy to show appreciation for a spouse's cheating, lying, stealing, lazy, selfish ways but in every human being I've found there is some element of good, small though it may be.  Let us challenge ourselves today find that element of good and show appreciation to our husbands for that element we find.

Sometimes in marriage we act up because our need for appreciation is not being met.  Let us try an experiment over the next week or so.  Let us look for things that our husbands do that may be worthy of appreciation.  It may be something as simple as covering the toothpaste back after he uses it.  We can say something like - "I've heard women complain about how their husbands do not put the cap back on the tube of toothpaste. I'm so glad that you are not one of them. I really appreciate that." Or words to that effect.  You may not be able to praise him for his lazines but if we look hard enough we can find something.

Now for those of us who have wonderful husbands that we take for granted - this is a wake up call.  If we do not show proper appreciation - at best he will be enduring being married to us because he is an upright Christian who will not leave or at worst he will begin to receive appreciation elsewhere and despite his attempts to resist may fall prey to adultery.  We are not responsible for another's actions but we can do our part to ensure that we are the wives we should be.

If a husband's love language is Words of Affirmation it is even more important that we speak those words of appreciation.  It will communicate love in a greater way and will further strengthen the marriage bond.  Daily I try to build my husband up with words.  His primary love language is not words of affirmation but I say thank you and show appreciation for mundane things that are expected of a husband just because I want him to feel good.  That sets a pleasant atmosphere around our home and keeps the demons of bitterness, strife and rejection away.

Share your thoughts on appreciation in marriage in the comments below.  I would love to hear what you think.  And for more Wifey Wednseday visit Sheila's blog - To Love Honor and Vacuum.