Wifey Wednesday - Creating The Right Atmosphere

What are you doing to create the right environment for your husband? That is the question that Sheila asks today on Wifey Wednesday.



I agree with Sheila that when we create a nurturing, loving environment in our marriage, we both become different people in a good way. We grow. And we give God more permission to work in both of our hearts, because we're honouring what He says about love. Let me share an example from my life with you.

I know that the person I am today I would not be if it were not for my husband. He is so patient, kind and loving. We have never had serious adjustment issues as a couple but when we got married I had certain issues to deal with that had caused me to feel less than, to feel that I was not worthy of genuine love. Oh I knew in my head and told myself that I was but deep down inside the feeling of unworthiness was there. I remember asking my husband often why he loves me. He is such a wise person that he never listed all my good qualities, talents or abilities because if he did I suspect that my overthinking mind would begin to rationalize that if I were no longer so or could no longer do whatever, he would not love me anymore. I don't clearly remember what his answer was but what I do remember was that everytime he answered there was this feeling of peace, contentment and satisfaction that he gave the right answer and most of all I felt loved. He also would at an unexpected times tell me reassuring words of his love for me not being dependent on what I would or would not do, could or could not do.

Another thing that he did to create the right environment was to continually point me back to God. By that I mean that whenever I wanted to do something or get involved with something, instead of telling me right out what he thought I should do, he would tell me that if the Lord is leading me to do it then go right ahead. That meant that the decision was mine and he was not going to force his opinions or desires on me. It meant a lot to me because I practiced submission and when he did that I felt safe that he would not take advantage like I've heard many men do. Pointing me to God like that did two things. For one, it allowed me to draw closer to God and secondly it made me love my husband more. It meant that he would not be a stumbling block in my growth as a person or as a christian. That did not mean that he did not voice his concerns. When he had them he did but he knew that by listening to God I would be safe.

My husband has consistently encouraged me over the years in different areas. When we got married and I moved to New Orleans to be with him, he continually encouraged me to make friends. I was not wanting to because I felt that I would only leave them behind anyway. He introduced me to all his friends, male and female and encouraged me to initiate conversations with some of the ladies on campus. After a while I made my first tentative steps at starting friendships. It was such a big leap for me that I had to write down lists of questions to ask just to start and keep the conversation going. LOL! Many who know me from Dominica would not believe what I just said but it was true. I felt safer not putting myself out there to make new friends but I'm glad now that I followed the encouragement of my husband. I have totally evolved into almost a people person.

My husband encourages me when he sees my doubts in myself as a mother, homemaker, wife etc. He is so steady and reliable. The Lord knew what He was doing when he brought us together. My husband sometimes says when he preaches that the man he is today he would not be because of me. I don't know about that. He would have to go into details of that himself but I do know that for me the person I am today might not have been possible if the Lord had not blessed me with my husband.

I am striving to create for him the very same atmosphere of love and acceptance he has given to me and I pray that I am succeeding. I try to keep nagging out and patiently pray after expressing my concerns to him. I encourage him to go ahead and do the things that are in his heart and whenever I pray about that particular thing I let him know that I prayed for him in that area. I speak words of praise when he does things around the home and out in public whether big or small. I compliment him in front of our friends. I purposely project eyes of admiration while I'm learning from his preaching. There are so many ways to create the right atmosphere for growth in marriage and many times it is the little things that do it.

I was rather long-winded today but I pray that you received something from what I wrote. My final word of encouragement is - Don't give up! If my husband had given up on me back in the early days when I kept asking why he loved me, I would not be who I am today. I don't have to ask that question anymore because he created the right atmosphere and I grew.

For More Wifey Wednesday articles go to Sheila Gregoire's blog by clicking HERE.