Sheila's asks, "What do you do when your husband fails to keep his body attractive? What do you do when he's gained 75 pounds? 100 pounds? When he won't take care of himself? How do you stay attracted when he's just not that nice to look at?"
I'm going to share the answers that Sheila gives on her post and then throw the questions out to you all. These are questions I have little experience in because my hubby is the one who brought me into a more healthy lifestyle and he continues to exercise and keep his body in shape. So here we go.
1. Sheila mentions that sexual intimacy is much more than the physical. Totally agree but for someone who has to look at an overweight almost ready to squash you husband and be intimate I can imagine that it might not be so easy to look past the physical. What are your suggestions? How can someone look past the physical and concentrate on the much more than physical aspect of intimacy with their spouse?
2. Sheila says that as the woman chances are that we are the ones who cook therefore we control what food comes into the house so buy healthier foods. Again I agree but there are men who would throw a royal hissy fit if you took away their comfort foods - the fried, greasy, sugar laden, white flour stuff that is presented as food. In a situation like that the woman seems powerless to change the eating habits of her husband to one that is more healthy. What steps do you recommend that someone in such a position take to help her husband become healthier and lose some weight in the process?
3. Sheila says exercise together. Again if the man refuses to get himself off the couch or the bed what can you do?
I agree with all the points and suggestions that Sheila brought forth in her post today. As she says, men who are married live, on average, about eight years longer than men who are not because their wives take care of them. But I know that some husbands can be difficult or downright stubborn, hostile and totally resistant to any changes when it comes to health issues. I would love to hear how you would help someone in such a situation. How would you handle it?
To read Sheila's post in its entirety and to get more Wifey Wednesday posts to read visit To Love Honor and Vacuum.
About the Author
I think I already answered the questions in my post. I just think focusing on who he IS rather than who he ISN'T has everything to do with it.
ReplyDeleteOh boy! This is certainly a relevant issue for me and the hubby right now. During my last pregnancy (my baby is now 10 mos. old) we both packed on the pounds! When my son was 2 mos. old, I got pregnant again! Now in the last month of my pregnancy, I feel very large and unattractive. I don't understand how my husband still finds me beautiful, but he does! He's gained even more weight this go round, but I still desire him; in fact, I think he looks better than ever! I see him tenderly caring for our son, and gently patting the one growing in my belly, and I think he's the most attractive man on the planet. It really is true that love and attraction are more about what's on the inside!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I don't know about this one. I completely agree about loving the inside more than focusing on the outside, but I exercise constantly, which also helps keep hubby on his toes. We use to walk together before the cold came in. Hubby always asks me if I'll love him if he was 700 lbs. My reply is always the same..."Yes! I'll love you right from the basement...where you'll be." LOL!
ReplyDeleteStopping over from SITS to say hello. This is my first time visiting your blog and if you keep posting photos with yummy looking raw meals like the carrot, banana, raisin dish, I'll be back.
ReplyDelete(Stopping by from SITS)
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have both gone up and down in weight (he more than I). Although he is 6'6" (2 meters) at one point he was about 240 pounds (109 kg) and really too big. I remember once, as he walked to bed, thinking, "Hmmm. A bit too much." But it didn't turn me off or anything. He was still himself.
Then we both went on a diet and he lost about 65 pounds. I like him best when he weighs about 190, but now he's 175 and been working out so it's all muscle. Makes him happy. He's healthy. His clothes are comfortable.
We both like certain activities, especially riding bikes. But life here in Big City Moscow makes that impossible. But when we are in the US during the summer we go at least 20 miles every day.
Hi Sheri,
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Taking our eyes off what's missing and putting it on the good that is there is one of the key things to do in a situation like this.
Hi Alexis,
You got it girl! Way to go!
Hi Momsweb,
LOL! I guess for us who don't face the issue it can seem that we are at a loss to know how to handle it but I'm thinking that if we ever get there we will have the Spirit of God to help us with the right attitude of acceptance and unconditional love.
Hi strokeofliving,
I plan to, so I'm looking forward to seeing your face in the place. :)
Hi Expatresse,
Your thoughts "Hmmm. A bit too much" brought laughter to my morning. I'm glad it didn't turn you off because you saw him for what he is not what he looked like. Great job with the weight loss and exercise!
I love you all. You make the discussions on here so lively.