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Monday, December 17, 2012

Say No and Reduce Your Stress!

How full is your schedule? Is it filled to overflowing? Are you able to find time to relax with all that is going on in your work and home life? Does striking the perfect balance elude you? Do you find time to relax? But still you add more on. You take on more projects though you know how full your schedule is.

Whenever you mother, brothers or sisters need support, they call you. Your friends are often calling or dropping in to see you to share their problems. Other people call you when they need a stand-in instead of using the other people who are available. It’s good to be a giver but if it is to the detriment of your health and sanity, it’s time to stop the madness.

Sounds like you might be having a challenge saying no. You find that though you don’t want to do something you are unable to say no because according to you, you don’t have a good enough reason to say no. Tired, but you say yes. Exhausted, but you still say yes.

When you’re tired or you just don’t feel up to doing a particular thing that you are asked to do, what do you do? Do you speak up and say no? You don’t have to answer out loud, but I bet I know the answer. You most likely don’t. Do you know what this means for you? It means that more than likely people are taking advantage of you more often than you may care to admit.

Listen to me and listen well. If you don’t speak up for yourself, who will? Your friends, co-workers and family members may not readily realize how full your plate is and so they keep on asking because you keep on saying yes. Relying on them to recognize when you have too much to handle is not wise. It’s your life and you have the full picture of what’s in it, not them.

You are the one who is responsible for you. Your husband or wife, brother or sister may love you and care for you but ultimately the responsibility for your life is all yours. You may feel uncomfortable about that but that’s just the way it is. Being a generous and giving person is one thing but to be so to the extent that you are under too much stress is just not good. If you are unable to find time to relax and unwind then your health is being seriously compromised both physically and mentally.

You have to get to the point in your life where you realize that this path is dangerous and begin to place care of yourself as #1 on your priority list. If you are not well you cannot help anyone anyway. So if you find fulfillment in being there for others, you need to take care of yourself so that you can continue helping others.

This starts with learning when to say no. You may have to make yourself a little less accessible during times when you need to relax and unwind. You need to plan some alone time and treat it just like you would treat an appointment to help someone else. You are still helping someone – yourself. Turn off the cell phone, shut off the computer and take time for yourself. Say no if you’re already overbooked. One good way to help you say no is not to accept an invitation right away. Always let the person know that you will check your calendar and get back to them. That gives you a little breathing space to properly evaluate whether you are truly able to help them or not.

So, today’s tip to reduce stress – SAY NO AND REDUCE YOUR STRESS! 

Try it! You’ll like the results.

Coming soon - The Ultimate Stress Relief Guide. Look for it!

To your stress reduction,
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Image courtesy of zirconicusso/


  1. I totally agree Jennifer. We need to know our limits and know we can't be everything to everyone. I feel must try to help people as much as we can, but we can't let that get in the way of taking care of ourself. This is where balance comes in and priorities. It is OK to overextend yourself once in a while, but not all the time.

  2. Thanks Jennifer. I think I would have said it better if I didn't make the typo :( : I feel must = I feel we must... Can you fix the typo? :) Peace and Blessings. Keep up the good work.

  3. I only see an edit link under comments I've made. Just under your comment on the blog you should see an edit link. You should be able to edit it from there.


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