Just talking

I'm not sure what's going on. Friday morning I was having my usual alone time with God early in the morning and then I started crying almost nonstop while I talked to God about different things. I went to Vacation Bible School and it took a lot of strength for me to muster up a pleasant greeting. When the time came for me to begin the teaching session I had to really draw deep. By about 1030am I was ready to go home. I had had about enough of being around people with the way I was feeling and couldn't really show it. I pressed through to the end and despite how I felt I was able to hug each child in my class and tell them how happy I was that they were in my class and let them know I was looking forward to seeing them on Sunday at the closing program. No one knew what I was going through because VBS was not about me. I cleaned up my area and the boys and I walked home(my hubby was in town with the car doing his usual ministry on the radio and at the lunch time prayer meeting that he does on a Friday so I had to walk-in the hot sun for 15-20mins. Oh well. I have to be thankful that I have legs and can walk). After preparing lunch, I sat down to eat and felt a little better as I took time to read through one of the e-books that I had received as a gift(see previous post). I felt calm and when my hubby called to say that he would be leaving town I assigned the boys stuff to do to tidy up and then did some myself, took a bath and prepared myself and the house for him. I even baked some banana bread. I took a nap and then got up.

This morning I felt weepy again and was just not myself. My hubby put on some loud gospel music and as I sang I felt a bit better but not totally. My head felt heavy and I just did not feel myself. Today is baking day and I couldn't make the grade to go with them because I did not want my mood and the way I was feeling to affect my hubby's sister and her family and everyone else. I have no challenges or problems in my life right now. I don't have anything to be feeling depressed about. My marriage is great, my kids are wonderful, my relationship with God is good, time in the word and prayer is good, our bills are paid, we have food in the cupboard, clothes to wear, our needs are met, so what's the deal. I am wondering if I am being attacked by the enemy with a spirit of depression. The reason I think that this is a possibility is because we opened our home on Thursday to a young lady who had some questions for my hubby. She came home and we ministered deliverance to her. She had been going through a real tough time and we allowed her space and time to release, then we led her in a few confessions of deliverance and prayed over her. She testified to us that same night that she has not felt so good in a while and she was grateful. We gave her the open door to call us anytime and to call me and come over anytime even if its just to hang out with no reason in mind. I'm thinking that because the enemy's hold over her life was broken that night and we taught her how to maintain her deliverance through prayer and the word of God that the enemy is mad and is seeking to give me a hard time. It's not the first time he has tried to do this after we've ministered to someone. Also my menstrual periods are irregular as well and I'm also wondering if it is close to that time of the month because I get weepy and emotional and irritable a few days before. I just don't know. I just know that today I am not myself. Could it be that I am tired from being out all week at VBS which is unusual? I am not usually out of my home for five days in a row, six counting Sunday. If I sound confused, I am a little and I just wanted to type it all out. I hope that I don't scare all you readers out there making you think "who's this psycho?" with all my conflicting thoughts. It could be that the way I feel is a combination of all of the above. Anyway I think that's enough. Just typing it out gave me a point of release. I feel a bit better. Do any of you ever have days like this? Pray for me that this thing does not overtake me and that I get the victory soon in Jesus name. Thanks friends.